You Always Hurt the Ones You Love
by pandorabox82
Summary: Severus needs Minerva's forgiveness before moving on to the next great adventure....


You Always Hurt the Ones You Love

By: Stephanie Gates

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I am not anywhere near JKR's writing style because I am not her. I just happen to be borrowing her characters for a little bit so I can get this story out of me. Don't sue, because I am a typical college student, and have nothing. 

Author's Notes: Well, I started college yesterday (26/8/02) and here is the result. Don't ask me where such a sad story came from, I don't know. But I really like this story for some reason. Yes, I know I left off in a very ambiguous place, I meant to do that! Really, I hope that you enjoy this story, but if you don't that's okay too.

~Spring 1976~

"Albus, you've got to warn Da. He's in horrible danger. Voldemort's singled him out as his next victim!"

"Severus, please take a seat. There's something I must tell you. As you know, your father was a brilliant man, one of the finest minds our side had. Severus, I'm afraid that this time, you were too late. Someone has already done Voldemort's bidding. I'm sorry, Severus, but Marcus Snape is dead."

A sharp gasp drew Severus and Albus' gaze to the doorway. Standing there was Minerva, looking very shocked, to say the least. "H-he can't be dead," she whispered, before she fainted dead away.

Severus rushed over to her, picked her up, and laid her on one of Albus' sofas. Slowly, she awoke, and she looked about her, finally fixing her gaze on Severus.

"You! You're the reason he's dead! You're a Slytherin, couldn't you have found some way to protect your father?"

"But M-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. For all that you were a disappointment to him, he still loved you. Why weren't you there to save him?" She lashed out at him, raising her hand as if to strike him. Quickly, he reached out his left arm to block the slap he knew was coming. As he did so, he felt the sleeve of his robe slide down, revealing that which he'd shown to only one other person.

Her gaze was drawn to it, as if it had magnetic properties he was unaware of. She gave a soft cry before wrenching her arm out of his light grasp. "You killed him then, didn't you? And now, you're here to kill me. I won't have it, do you hear? I will not fall to the likes of you!" She slapped him then, hard enough to leave a bruise, before running out of Albus' office, tears streaming down her face.

Cradling his cheek, he turned to look at Albus. "She's never going to believe me, when I tell her the truth. She's seen the Mark, and thinks only the worst of me."

"Give her time, Severus. I'm sure she'll come around."

"You saw the look she gave me. She'll hate me forever. My mother will never find it in herself to forgive me, will she?"

~Fall 1981~

"There's going to be another attack."

"So soon, Severus? We just lost the Bones'."

"I know, Albus, but he's on the warpath now. He's going after the Potter's this time. Seems to think he knows where they're hiding out at. You have to get word to them, somehow, Albus. We can't afford to lose them."

"I wish I could warn them, Severus, but even I don't know where they are. The moment they completed the spell, they were gone from us."

"But surely there must be something you can do?"

"I wish there was, Severus, I wish there was." Albus gave a soft sigh of resignation. "Have you spoken to your mother?"

"You know she won't speak to me about anything I want to talk about."

"Have you tried Quidditch yet?"

"No, never did like that game."

"But she loves it. Maybe if you speak about something she loves, you can get her to open up to you. You were so close to her when you were a child, Severus. It pains me to see you not speaking now."

"Yes, well after I got sorted into Slytherin, the familial bonds broke. Funny, how the son of two great Gryffindors came to be sorted into the house of evil. I lived up to the reputation quite well, didn't I, Albus?"

There was a pregnant pause, as Albus thought about his next words. "She still loves you, you know."

"And I still love her. We just can't tell each other that."

"You were never evil, Severus, just misguided. We are all misguided at some point in our lives. Even the purported perfect make their fair share of mistakes. Merlin knows I have."

"Yes, but your mistakes didn't cost your father his life."

~September 1991~

"Granger, Hermione." A small, bushy haired girl confidently strode up to the stool, and Minerva placed the hat on her head.

"Gryffindor!" sang out the hat. The girl looked pleased with herself. 'Why shouldn't she,' he thought bitterly. 'She's now a member of the elite, a golden child who can do no wrong. I have the feeling Mother is going to love her.' The Sorting Hat called out more Houses, while Severus sat brooding. When 'Malfoy, Draco' was called, he could feel his gaze being drawn to the boy. 'He'll go to Slytherin. There hasn't been a Malfoy sorted out of Slytherin in three hundred years.'

The hat had no sooner been lowered to Draco's head, when it cried out "Slytherin!" Draco went and claimed his seat. 'Wealth brings power, wealth and charisma bring control.' Severus mused as Minerva continued to read off names. Suddenly, he heard it, the name he'd come to hate.

"Potter, Harry." Severus listened to the hushed murmurings break out across the Great Hall. 'If they only knew what his father had really been like,' he thought as he watched the mirror-image of James walk up, sit down, and have the hat placed on his head. It seemed as if his Sorting would take forever. 'Not Slytherin, I couldn't deal with him in Slytherin,' he silently pleaded. When the Hat yelled "Gryffindor!" a few seconds later, he sighed in relief. The rest of the names were lost to him, as he focused on being prepared to hate Harry. But somehow, he caught a glimpse of Potter's eyes, and he knew that no matter how much he disliked the boy in front of him, who reminded him all too much of James, he could never hate the child. For staring back at him were Lily's eyes, eyes that had once looked upon Severus in kindness and friendship. 'Until that bastard told her about my Mark, then her eyes were filled with remorse and pity. Damning me, making me want to leave the Death Eaters, then and there. But I was in over my head, and there was no way to get out safely. Some Slytherin I turned out to be.'

As Minerva sent the Sorting Hat to rest for another year, she gave Severus a look. For just a moment, a haunted look crept into her eyes. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone, replaced by the familiar loathing. She took her seat at the High Table, and boldly stated "Gryffindor is going to win the House Cup this year."

"Minerva, you've been saying that for the last six years, and yet who've actually won? My Slytherins, that's who, and we're going to again this year."

"We'll just have to wait and see about that, won't we?"

He was tempted to stick out his tongue at her, a juvenile show of how he felt, but he restrained himself. The staff knew about his tenuous relationship with his mother, and to give them a show was beneath him. Instead, he focused his glare on the person he knew was going to cause much trouble during his seven years at Hogwarts - Harry Potter.

~March 1998~

The voice, though it had lost it's snake-like sibilance, was still cold and cruel. "Before me stand three men - Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, and Peter Pettigrew. Each has good cause to betray me, and indeed, one of them had. But which one would be so foolish as to betray the most powerful Dark Lord that Britain has ever seen?"

Pettigrew was shaking in fear. Severus knew he owed a Wizard's Debt to Potter, but would he ever go against the Dark Lord? Lucius stood next to him, stoically facing straight ahead. Lucius was a lot of things, but a fool wasn't one of them. So why would the Dark Lord suspect him? Unless this was just a ruse, unless Voldemort knew for certain that he was the spy. Severus braced himself for what was to happen next.

"The Way of Light has blinded you, hasn't it, Severus?"

"Why, Lord Voldemort, what do you mean?"

"Don't toy with me, Severus. I know you are the one who's been selling me out. Well, that ends today! _Crucio_!"

The pain was overwhelming to his senses. As he struggled to ignore the pain, he never heard the spell that Lucius turned on him, the one that gave him countless stab wounds in places not designed to kill a person outright. His mother's face came to him then, when the blood began to pool at his feet, and all he could think of was going home to Hogwarts. As he slipped into unconsciousness his last thought was 'All I want is my mother's forgiveness.'

The gods heard his plea, and were benevolent. He apparated safely to Hogwarts.

~~~

Fang released an eerie howl into the night sky. Hagrid, who'd just settled down to sleep, jumped out of bed with a start. Hurriedly pulling on a night robe, he burst out of his hut. There, off to the side, lie a crumpled bundle. He rushed over to it, only to hear a faint moan. Turning the bundle over, he realised that it was a severely injured Professor Snape. Carefully picking him up, Hagrid ran to the castle, struggling not to jostle Severus.

Soon, Hagrid was in the Great Hall, bellowing for Madam Pomfrey and Albus. The first person to come in to the Great Hall, though, was Harry.

"Harry, please, run and get Poppy. I know nothin' 'bout doctoring, and he's hurt summat awful." Harry took off in the direction of the infirmary, running as if Cerebus was at his heels.

"Hagrid, what is all this shouting about?" Albus had finally appeared, a look of concern evident on his face.

"It's Snape, sir." Hagrid gestured to the body still in his arm. "You-Know-Who did this to him. I can feel the evil surrounding him."

"Hagrid, is that blood?!? Take him up to the infirmary, now!"

"I sent Harry for Poppy. I don't want to move him any further." He fixed his eyes on Albus, and continued. "I've seen animals hurt less than he is and nit survive being moved. He stays in the Great Hall."

~~~

As Harry flew by the Gryffindor Common Room, Minerva opened her door across the hall. "Where do you think you're going, Mr Potter?"

Without breaking stride, he said, "Great Hall, injured, getting Poppy," before he was out of hearing range. Throwing on her Tartan dressing robe, she rushed to see who was so gravely injured that he should not be moved to the infirmary.

She flew down corridors, and down sets of stairs, her mind whirling in thought. 'Severus disappeared right after dinner tonight. No one's seen him since. Come to think of it, before he left, he was clutching…Oh gods no, not my son!'

Tears streaming down her cheeks, she burst into the Great Hall just as Hagrid was laying Severus down on a conjured cot. When she'd reached his side, she fell to her knees, and took his hand into her own. "Severus, wake up! Mama wants to talk to you." She felt a warm arm come around her shoulders, and looked up into Albus' pale face.

"He's not awakened once since Hagrid found him. I'm so sorry, Minerva."

"You were supposed to protect him! He trusted you to protect him, and look where that got him! Why didn't you protect him?" Her sobs violently shook her slight frame, and she pulled away from Albus' cloying embrace.

"Minerva, calm down. This isn't helping anything."

"Calm down? You expect me to calmly watch my only son die?"

A short, sharp gasp alerted them to the fact that they now had visitors in the Great Hall. Minerva turned and looked behind her, relieved to see Poppy, and startled to see Ginny, Hermione, and Harry.

"I had Harry get Miss Weasley. She's studying to be a healer, and I thought she could lend a hand." Poppy moved closer to Severus' inert form and beckoned Ginny closer. "Minerva, perhaps it's best if you were to stay back whilst Miss Weasley and I examine him."

Shakily, Minerva got to her feet, and moved away from the cot, her face buried in her hands. Harry looked at Hermione, the shock still in his eyes. Hermione shrugged at him, before moving to where Minerva was. She slung a comforting arm around Minerva's waist, and conjured up a sofa. Guiding her professor to the comfortable looking sofa, she gently sat her down, taking a seat next to her, to wait.

~~~

"Madam Pomfrey, I can't get these wounds to heal. No matter what charm I use, seconds later, they're open again. Someone used a powerful dark curse against him, I fear."

"Then there's nothing we can do, Miss Weasley. Unless we know exactly which spell was used, then risking breaking it could cause more harm than good. I'm afraid he's going to die." Rising from her position at his head, she went to deliver the bad news to Minerva. As she approached the sofa, she noted with surprise that Minerva was asleep, her head cradled in Hermione's lap.

Hermione looked up at her and spoke. "You know, I think she cried herself to sleep. I used to do the same thing." She was running her fingers lightly through Minerva's hair. "He's going to die, isn't he? You wouldn't have come over here if he wasn't." Poppy's sigh of resignation told Hermione all she needed to know. "You should wake her then. His remaining time here should be spent with her."

Gently, Poppy shook Minerva, waking her from sleep. Looking into Poppy's eyes, she knew the truth. "I have to go say good-bye, don't I?"

At Poppy's mute nod, Minerva rose from the sofa and glided over to where her son lay. Pushing the hair out of his eyes, she placed a light kiss on his forehead.

Slowly, his eyes blinked open and focused on her. "Mama, you've let your hair down."

"Yes, Sev, I have. Do you like it?"

"I always love when you wear your hair down. You look so pretty. I'm going to die, aren't I, Mama?"

"I-I'm sorry, Sev."

"Don't be. You're going to need a new spy. My cover was blown, somehow. I'm sorry I let you all down. I should have done more."

"You did enough, and I'm proud of you. I wish I had stayed that night, and let you explain. Your father would have been so proud to know that in the end his son made the right choices."

"Then I'm forgiven? For all the terrible mistakes I made?"

"I forgave you a long time ago. I just never got around to telling you."

"Mama, will you bury me next to Da?"

"Of course I will. The Highlands will receive another son."

"Thank you, Mama. I love you."

"I love you too, my precious son."

~~~

Those were the last words Severus heard. Shortly after that, he slipped into a coma, and Minerva became hysterical. "Can't you do anything Poppy? He's my son, I don't want to lose him! Please, do something!" It was nearing breakfast at this time, and Harry was standing guard at the door with Hagrid, letting no one into the Hall.

"Out of the way, Potty. I need my breakfast before I humiliate you in Potions once more."

"No, Draco. No one's going in there. Go down to the kitchens if you're hungry. Besides, classes for today are cancelled. Dumbledore's orders."

As Draco opened his mouth to speak once more, a loud, keening wail was heard from behind the doors. Quickly, Harry crossed himself, and a few of the other students followed suit.

Ron stepped forward, and asked, "Harry, what is it? Why did you just do that?"

"A soul just went to Heaven, Ron." As he spoke, heavy mourning shrouds appeared in the windows, and the lights were dimmed. A black band with the Slytherin crest appeared on the arm of every student and teacher. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go inside now." Harry slipped in the door, and Hagrid took a solitary vigil, a silent tear coursing down his cheek.


End file.
